Mike's Friendly Visit
by jAsMiNeLoVeStWiLiGhT
Summary: Hey Bells!" . . . "Gotta go, Newton. I'm-- I'm going through a tunnel." Smooth, Bella. Real smooth. . . “But, Bells. You don't have any tunnels in your hou--” SCREW YOU, MIKE NEWTON!
1. Think I Should Kill Him?

Rewrite of Mike's Friendly Visit. I really haven't written since like July. Haha. Here goes . . .

**Bella's POV**

Here I am. Twiddling my thumbs. Sitting in this huge house. Alone. Why, may you ask? Because Lauren Friggin' Malory had a friggin' car accident, and every friggin' person in the house needed to assist the . . . person. Before they left, they told me to 'guard the house'. Like anyone would have the balls to break into a rich Vampire house . . . .

_Ringggg Ringggg Ringgg_ I really don't want to answer the dumb phone. _Ringgg Ringg_ Okay. Whatever. I will.

"Hello?" I asked angrily.

"BELLA! I haven't talked to you in forever!" Mike Friggin' Newton's voice half-screamed at me.

"We talked yesterday, Newton," I said flatly.

"Yeah . . . but you hung up on me." I could nearly hear the pitiful sadness in his voice.

"You remember _why_ I hung up on you? 'Member? 'Cause you kept asking annoying questions?" I snapped.

"Speaking of those annoying questions--"

"Gotta go, Newton. I'm-- I'm going through a tunnel." Smooth, Bella. Real smooth.

"But, Bells. You don't have any tunnels in your hou--"

SCREW YOU, MIKE NEWTON.

**Edward's POV**

When dad said we all had to go help Lauren, I knew Bells would be mad.

Ever since I stepped foot out of that house, I've been missing the hell out of her. All I can think about is those shorts she wore the other day. I knew if I didn't get them off my mind soon, id have to go watch some sexual pornography on Emmett's laptop. (He uses that for when Rose is away.) I felt the need to differentiate between sexual and nonsexual pornography. . . nonsexual was like. . .END OF PREVIEW. And that always sucks. You're only a true loser when your porn blue-balls you.

**Mike's POV**

I kind of regretted calling Bella. Her voice loomed in my mind all day, which really bugged me because –quite frankly-- I couldn't have her. I know she loved me, even though she acts like she doesn't. She wants me. It's just deep, deep, deep down. Edward doesn't deserve her perfection. What happened to 'beauty is only skin deep' ?

I started thinking about going to her house. I knew she'd be all over me. Mmmm. Just think about those possibilities. She'd probably be all over me. Unless, of course, the pale dudes with freaky muscles were there.

**Later that day:  
**I looked around sheepishly. No shiny Volvo. No Jeep. No BMW. No Vanquish. Awesome. I ran to the doorstep, afraid I'd lose my balls if I didn't hurry. I knocked. Opening the door, were two half-dressed, soaking wet, very _pale_ people. They were both giggling and looked very...happy. Wait... **  
**"Oh. My. Lord. Bella. You look--" I know they say marriage makes you pretty and all, but DAMN.  
"Gorgeous, I know." Edward beamed.

**Edward's POV  
**Here we are. Bella and I, soaked. Mike looking like he's fixing to get a very awkward hard-on. What do I do? I make fun of him, of course. I said something very faintly, so only Bella could hear. She started laughing. When she did so, her pink towel dropped to the floor. When she did so, her perfection of a body was exposed to the beady eyes of Mike Newton. Mike's thoughts raced into my mind like he was screaming them at me. Then . . . he fainted.

**Mike's POV  
**"You think we should kill him?" Someone's voice said over me.  
NO NO NO NO. Please don't! I felt a tear race from my eye to my chin.  
"Haha. He's crying," the same voice laughed.  
Even though I thought I would die, I still couldn't get Bella's body out of my mind. I knew everyone else knew what I was thinking about, too; I knew I had a hard-on. Poor Poor me. I couldn't move my body. Wait . . . WHAT? Why the hell can't I move??  
"We paralyzed you. Chill."  
I looked up and saw Edward staring at Bella like he would eat her for dinner. He probably eats her in other ways that I won't mention. I shuddered, trying to get that image out of my mind. I looked over and saw her in short-shorts and a itty-bitty tank top. Her dark hair was spilling over her shoulders. The tank top bulged in all the right places. Her long legs looked very inviting in the four-inch shorts. Goddd. See? She wants me.I closed my eyes and tried not to think of it. That, however, made it all worse.

**Edward's POV  
**The thoughts from Mike's nasty mind were vomit-inducing. I thought I would vomit right then and there all over him. Well . . . I would have if I could have. Bella had lifted her shield and I could hear her thinking, "Good god. Now I remember why I don't wear this in front of other guys. I wish he'd pry his eyes off of my tits for like three seconds."  
I started mumbling something really low to myself about killing him. I didn't know she could hear me until she screamed, "No! Edward! Don't kill him!!"  
Mike instantly lit up and thought, "Wow she does lo--"  
"No she doesn't," I breathed through gritted teeth. "Just leave now."  
He did so with his head bowed so far down you'd think he was trying to suck his own penis.

**Mike's POV**  
The whole way home I was thinking about how lucky my day had been, aside from Edward. I mean, really. I saw Bella naked. Laid on her couch. Saw her in that outfit. Mann. When I got home I knew I'd—well . . . I don't think I'll mention that. I tried not to think of it at the time because I was still afraid that Edward was around. I've always felt like he intrudes on my thoughts—like he knows things.

Btw . . . that was a combo of the first two chapters of my old story. They were 867 words—together. This one was 1,020 before I started writing this A/N. So what nowwww? Huh? That's what I thought.


	2. 6:66

_**Edward's POV**_  
"Bells, I really don't like Newton. I never have. Never will. I swear. If he so much as sets foot in this house again-- Wait. I have an idea. Go upstairs. Now. C'mon." I pushed her up the stairs and made her be really quiet.

_**Mike's POV**_

I wasn't going to just _give up._ I knocked confidently on Bella's door. Instead of seeing the perfection of Bella, I saw a young child--she couldn't have been more than six. "Hello. You must be Mike." Her voice was so peircingly high and clear, I wasn't sure of her age anymore.

"Who are--"

She cut me off by yelling: "Mommmmmmmmm!"

"Mom?!?" Bella? A mom?? What the--

"Hi, honey." She smiled, looking at me then at the young girl again.

"Hello," The girl and I both responded quickly.

"Bella was speaking to Nessie, our _daughter_." I flinched when he put emphisis on 'daughter'; I swear he knew it would hurt me. I could have sworn he growled at me.

"I don't growl." How did he know . . . ?

**Bella's POV**

Everything was going as planned. I usually wasn't a mean person, but for God's sake. It was Mike Newton. I was in the kitchen laughing as silently as possible when he came in the room.

"Bells? Is that really your daughter?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No, Mike." Relief washed over his face. "We stole her from the Boogeyman," I spat at him, laughing.

With that, Mike slumped out of the house. I looked over at Edward, expecting him to be glaring at Mike. Was he? No. He was laughing and looking at Nessie. She was following Mike; indending to scare the crapola out of him, as she would say.

**Mike's POV**

I had a weird feeling in my gut that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I kept stealing looks behind me unconsiously. I really felt like someone was followwing me. _Bella does love me. She really--_

"No she doesn't," Edward and Nessie both said calmly while jumping out in front of me. I nearly screamed. They scared and tortured me for nearly an hour before they let me go home and sleep. Yeah it was early, but crazy people trying to kill you tends to be quite tiring. I slept, but I had horrible nightmares that I never remembered.

When I woke up, I heard a knock. I went to the door; there was a note on my porch. It said: 6:66. What the--? 6:66 isn't a time, but it could mean...well...no. I'm just paranoid about the scary people...

I thought it over and over. 6:66 could mean 7:07. In a scary way, it almost made sense.

I tried to shake the thought off, but that sense of forboding wouldn't leave the pit of my stomach.

**That Night at 7:07**

_Clink. _What the--? _Clash. _I swear. If someone is trying to-- _BOOM. _

Then, I really began to get scared. I got my dad's gun and went to the front porch, halfway ready to shoot someone. The porch was white with rocks in balled-up peices of paper. I opened one and read it, expecting something funny. I figured it was just a prank of one of my highschool buddies.

I opened it and nearly peed my pants. It said: my daddy says you're bad. I shall kill you.

Now I knew this crazy shit was from Bella's crazy husband and her kid. Apparently the crazy gene is hereditary...

Like it? no? yes? please review and read my old story,too. ((:


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